Blogger: Madeleine Farkas
Well, I’m 3 years and 19 blogs in so there’s a good chance I know some stuff about Oxy that I probably didn’t know when I got here, and now I must channel my inner Morgan Freeman to impart some wisdom unto all of you. [I’m making a parenthetical here to say that I stopped writing after that sentence, went to bed, and ended up having a dream about Morgan Freeman. So, like, anything is possible.] I decided to dedicate this post to telling you all some of the hidden treasures at Oxy, the underground stuff that the tour guides won’t tell you. Except that I’m a tour guide. So I guess a tour guide will be telling you this. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’ll make it up to you one day.
SECRET ONE: Order half noodles and half rice at the stir-fry station. When I tell this to people, I get mixed responses. Some are like, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????” and others are like, “Yeah duh.” So if you’re one of the “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???” people, take my advice and mix up your next order – literally! The sauce-to-carb ratio is supremely better. Trust me.
SECRET TWO: Anyone can get access to the piano practice rooms in Booth! This is probably common knowledge, actually, but I was a very nervous underclassman and didn’t discover this secret until recently. Now any time I’m near Booth and have a free 30 minutes I can slide into a practice room and play as much as my little heart desires!
SECRET THREE: There’s a family of raccoons that live in the Bell-Young/Wylie/Hameetman region of campus and they guard us in the night. One night I walked by Hameetman and saw three of them on either side of me, watching my every move. How sweet! Thanks for looking out for me, raccoons!
SECRET FOUR: The potato leek soup at the Marketplace is the best soup in the Marketplace. This one isn’t really a secret since everyone I talk to is in love with it. But in case you’re one of those people who doesn’t give the soup station a second glance, take more time every trip to check if they’re serving potato leek. Because that soup will serve YOU some serious happiness.
SECRET FIVE: The Community Literacy Center is the best place on campus. I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but after 18 blog posts my memory has aged by about 60 years. This is a 2-unit course where you can tutor either elementary or middle school students in a small classroom behind Thorne. Yesterday I painted a toy car with my kindergartener, wrote about Grimlock from Transformers, and ate a lot of Oreos and pretzels. Not trying to pressure you into anything but, like, register for this class.
SECRET SIX: There are underground tunnels where President Veitch throws private raves. If you’re ever wondering why your residence hall loses hot water some nights, it’s because administration also runs a 5-star spa down there once a month. But don’t bring this up around them; they get embarrassed!
SECRET SEVEN: The Office of Admissions is actually such a great place! I mean, I’m probably the most biased a person can be, but trust me on this one. You probably came here once for a tour or an interview and then never returned again, but come back. Please. No, seriously. Come back. This is a cry for help. I’ve been locked in the intern office for six months. I need food and I accidentally logged out of Netflix and my password is on my desk at home.
SECRET EIGHT: THERE’S A CAT THAT LIVES NEAR STEWIE!!!!!! If you haven’t met it, spend some time on upper campus until you do. The other night I ran into it by Pauley and then it followed me for five minutes until I had to part ways, but in those five minutes I felt a true bond. Also, a Campus Safety officer drove by me while we were walking together and he told me its name is Meow-Meow. And if that isn’t the greatest thing you’ve heard all day…
SECRET NINE: There’s this little club on campus that not a lot of people know about but I think could really blow up in the future. It’s called Dance Production—I know it sounds weird, just hear me out for a second. A group of students choreograph various styles of dance and then you can join ANY OF THEM! Even if you don’t have dance experience! Whoa, SCORE! I’ve been doing it for the past two years and have never had as much fun at Oxy as I do during Dance Pro. This year I was in a Broadway piece that my friends choreographed and I got to portray a Mormon. Check that one off the bucket list!
SECRET TEN: The bathtubs in Berkus Hall really come in clutch for those "Law & Order: SVU" binging nights. Not that you can’t watch "Law & Order: SVU" outside of the bath. But somehow the show seems just a bit less depressing when you’re immersed in bubbles.
I hope some of these secrets come in handy during your future at Oxy! There is so much knowledge built up inside of me, so please let me know if you crave more. I have so much to give. I’m like the Giving Tree. Except I would never donate my body to some dude’s boat-building project. Start a Kickstarter for that stuff.
Thanks for reading!