Remember that safety is key.
I’m being stalked, what should I do?
- Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous. No two stalking situations are alike. There are no guarantees that what works for one person will work for another, yet you can take steps to increase your safety.
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
- Trust your instincts. Don’t downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
- Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
- Contact Oxy's confidential crisis hotline (323.341.4141,) the Survivor Advocate (323.259.1359,) or Peace Over Violence (213.626.3393.) They can help you devise a safety plan, give you information about local laws, refer you to other services, and weigh options such as seeking a protection order.
- Develop a safety plan, including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you. Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else. Tell people how they can help you.
- Don’t communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.
- Keep evidence of the stalking. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place. Keep e-mails, phone messages, letters, or notes. Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw.
- Contact the police. Every state has stalking laws. The stalker may also have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying your property. (California stalking laws and Oxy stalking definition)
- Consider getting a court order that tells the stalker to stay away from you. The Survivor Advocate can assist you with this.
- Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support. Tell Campus Safety (323-259-2599.) Ask them to help watch out for your safety. You can find additional support in the Title IX office.
Here are some common feelings that you might be experiencing:
- Fear of what the stalker will do.
- Vulnerable, unsafe, and not know who to trust.
- Anxious, irritable, impatient, or on edge.
- Depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful, or angry.
- Stressed, including having trouble concentrating, sleeping, or remembering things.
- Eating problems, such as appetite loss, forgetting to eat, or overeating.
- Flashbacks, disturbing thoughts, feelings, or memories.
- Confused, frustrated, or isolated because other people don’t understand why you are afraid.
Who can be a stalker?
A stalker can be someone you know well or not at all. Most have dated or been involved with the people they stalk. Most staking cases involve men stalking women, but men do stalk men, women do stalk women, and women do stalk men.
Here are some things stalkers can do:
- Repeatedly call you, including hang-ups.
- Follow you and show up whenever you are.
- Send unwanted gifts, letters, texts, or e-mails.
- Damage your property
- Monitor your phone calls or computer use.
- Use technology, like hidden cameras or GPS, to track where you go.
- Drive by or hang out at your home, school or work.
- Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
- Other actions that control, track , or frighten you.
Again, please remember that when it comes to stalking, safety is key. Reach out to someone you trust as soon as possible. Remember that the Survivor Advocate is here to help you and can provide you with additional resources.
Information provided by the Stalking Resource Center, visit them for additional resources.
All information was duplicated from the “Are you being Stalked?” brochure created by the National Center of Victims of Crime, for the full brochure, click here.